6 Key Tips to Help You Live in Love, Not Fear

At Heal For Life, we believe that healing is about finding more love in your life – both self-love and love for others.

Our childhoods were directed and governed by fear, which was needed to protect us and keep us safe. But as adults, we have a choice: We can continue to let our lives be ruled by fear, often covered by anger, or we can choose to refocus and realign our brains to live in love.

That’s the focus of this blog post – learning how to live in love, not fear, as you continue to heal.

How do you live in love?

Learning to live in love is not always easy, as we have kept ourselves alive by being directed and controlled by fear. For many survivors of childhood trauma, love is an alien emotion.

However, learning how to live in love is always worth it. Every time you succeed even just a little bit, you’ll grow a little more. You’ll become happier and enjoy sharing that happiness with others.

So, how do we do this? How do we live in love – love for ourselves and love for others?

Living in love does not mean forgetting or ignoring your pain. You will not overcome your trauma by trying to forget it and just feeling love.

On the contrary, it’s important to give yourself the courage to face your childhood fears and pain. By doing so, you’ll release the fear and allow genuine space for love.

To truly love is a challenge – but also a crucial part of healing

To truly love is a huge challenge. To love the people who may do wrong by us in the now. To love the people who have not cared that we suffered trauma. To love the world that does not seem to understand us.


The key to living in love is the ability to self-love. When we truly love ourselves, then we will truly heal because we will know that we deserve to heal and that we have the right to a good life.

Why choosing love is always worth it

Here are a few suggestions you might like to try each day:

  • Spend five minutes each day (or when you think of it) writing down what you love within yourself. Be kind to yourself. Each time you have a negative thought, make sure to lovingly correct yourself.
  • Write down the names of anyone you really dislike or are angry with – in the now, not your perpetrator (that is quite different). Then think about what there is to love about them.
  • Concentrate on anything in the present, or in your childhood, that fills you with positive thoughts. Allow yourself to concentrate on that positive image. It might be your loving grandmother, a kind teacher, a wonderful moment when you felt safe, or any moment at any time that gives you a happy, positive feeling. Embrace and grow that feeling.
  • Read books about self-love. A particularly good one is How to Fall in Love with Yourself by Amanda Donner.
  • Go for a walk, smile and behave warmly towards everyone you meet. This includes the person in the local corner shop, the person on the street – anyone and everyone you meet.
  • Every time you feel anxious, fearful or angry, stop, take some deep breaths and say to yourself, ‘I choose love, I choose love’

Why choosing love is always worth it

As stated above, learning to live in love is not always easy. Sometimes, it is easier to hate, be anxious or think negative thoughts about people than it is to love.

However, the rewards are endless. If you choose love, love determinedly and despite the obstacles. You will be amazed at how you will change your world and the lives of the people around you.

Learning to live in love is just one of the many topics discussed in Heal For Life, which is full of knowledge and tools to help you heal from childhood trauma.

Learn more about healing and trauma recovery...

Heal For Life, by Liz Mullinar

How to Heal Yourself from the Pain of Childhood Trauma and Abuse

This practical guidebook for survivors of childhood trauma or abuse, presents the Heal For Life model of trauma-informed self healing that has already empowered thousands of survivors to find inner peace and hope for a brighter future. This book is highly recommended by survivors and mental health professionals alike.

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